God has a purpose far greater than my scribbling simple words onto a piece of paper. There is a purpose behind my original songs.

As the minutes of yesterday morning ticked by, the emotions escalated. Tick. Tock. Each moment of the morning fed the volcano until finally an eruption of bad choices and frustration burst forth, spewing impatience and raised voices throughout the house. Amidst the battle, I felt my internal temperature gauge cresting into the red zone. I began to sing His Grace (a song I wrote) aloud but my frustration level was too high. And my son was rejecting it more than normal. I was disappointed. I thought this was the song that provided the comfort I needed when I was dealing with my son’s struggles. (I write about the song here.)

I cannot do this without You, I pleaded with God. Take away my anger and replace it with Your love. I asked Him to make me who my son needed me to be because I was not able on my own. A verse to Without You (another song I wrote) came to mind. I began singing softly with tears in my eyes. I will fix my eyes on You; it’s the only way. Let Your love come to me, according to Your Word. I continued into the chorus, I am hopeless without Your mercy; Reckless without Your hand. I’m lost without Your grace and nothing without Your love.

At that moment I realized God was speaking to me through my own music.

God gave me the words that would minister to my own burdened soul. The words were tailored to comfort and guide me in the struggles God knew I would face. He would bring them to mind in those desperate times when the struggles would be too deep. The words would bring hope and peace. They would remind me that His power is made perfect in my weakness. They would remind me that I’m not walking this life alone.

I’ve always desired to write songs, especially to accompany them with guitar. (*shhh* I had a mental picture of a singer sitting on a stool with her guitar singing a folk-style Christian song.) But I dismissed the idea because of my voice. I never had a strong voice and the Neuromuscular struggles I face affect my voice even more. I just figured if God allowed I would write a song, but perhaps writing blogs was what God had in mind for me. (But I will sing with the voice God has given me.)

Around Easter I put a new melody to the well-known hymn, Amazing Grace. In July, I wrote my first two original songs, Be Still and His Grace.

Sometimes a Bible verse will come to mind when I am thrashing around in life’s raging waters; other times it’s a song. All of my originals come from the rawness of my heart. I wrote them for me. They were given to me by God’s own sovereign hand, reminding me that He is the Great Comforter. They are my songs of prayer to Him tailored to my unique struggles in my greatest time of need. They are my heart’s worship to Him.

I have begun to share my songs with others because I pray—if God allows it—they will touch their hearts as well. That in someone else’s delicate situation they also will be reminded of His boundless love, His amazing grace and His great faithfulness.