I am a Servant

It’s human nature to question God’s will, especially when it seems to oppose our own or happen not as we expected. Why did you take my job? Why is my life so difficult? Why did you take my loved one? Why is my marriage so difficult? Why do I have to deal with this hater at my school? Why can’t I have a family? Why does my child struggle so? Why can’t I find a spouse?

Mary was a virgin, betrothed to Joseph. God sent His angel Gabriel to tell Mary, “You will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call His name Jesus.”  She had everything to lose in obeying God’s will: her reputation, her marriage, her family, her wants and hopes.

Yet, her response was not, “Eh…I don’t know, God. It’s going to look like I cheated on Joseph. And I’m not sure I can raise the Son of God.” No. Instead, Continue reading “I am a Servant”

The Perfect Gift

I cannot wait to give our boys their presents on Christmas morning! To see the huge smiles on their faces as they rip open the paper and get a first peek. As parents, it gives us great pleasure to bless our children with gifts. The love and joy we experience as humans is pretty grand, but imagine how our Heavenly Father must feel to bless us with good gifts from above? The unexplainable delight as He showers us with His blessings.

Have you ever given a gift only to see the person look unaffected upon receiving it? Has someone ever told you they didn’t like your gift? How hurtful and disappointing. Maybe their gift was an afterthought, quickly found on the shelf as you exited a store, or perhaps you thought it was the perfect gift – carefully wrapped with appreciation and tied with a bow of love.

As much as we’d like to brag about our ability to give perfect gifts, there is none like the one God gave. His was the Perfect Gift. It was the greatest ever given. His might not be the latest iPhone or a smart TV. It’s not a sleek Ferrari or a mansion on a hilltop. It’s not even our deepest desire. Continue reading “The Perfect Gift”

What Is Most Important?

I am a Christian, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a member of my church and of the body of Christ.

Each of these roles comes with specific duties, expectations, responsibilities. Each varying slightly or hugely from the other.

As a wife, I have certain responsibilities: the upkeep of the house; respecting, encouraging and supporting my husband; submitting to his authority; praying faithfully for him. As a mom, I–with my husband–am responsible to teach everything to my children; to use every opportunity to share the Gospel; to let them see who Jesus is through me (yikes!); to encourage and love them as Christ loves me; to pray for them. As a member of the body of Christ, I am to serve obediently and willingly in whatever way God calls me. As a friend, sister and daughter, I am to uplift and encourage them; to be a godly influence; to pray for them. As a Christian, I am to stand apart from the world; to be a light in the darkness; to proclaim the Gospel to the world; to pray for our Nation and its leaders. As an individual: my health, my walk with God, my wants and needs, my talents, my time, my social contacts, my monies, they all must align with the Word of God.

My list is limited, as I did not list everything, and yours may look very different than mine, but you see how overwhelming it can be. We feel so much pressure to not fail in a specific area, or in many.

So what is most important? Continue reading “What Is Most Important?”

Looking Past The Election

Many are pleased with Trump as our future president. Others are dissatisfied and some are even angry (as demonstrated by the riots and social media outbursts).

I am not writing this to place guilt or shame on whether you voted for or against him.  But he has been elected and that means we have to move on. I urge you to look beyond it.  Look beyond our next president. Let’s glance past this mark in history and consider our future, our eternity.

Because our eternity is of the utmost importance. Continue reading “Looking Past The Election”

In A Perfect World

The highly anticipated–and, if I’m honest, somewhat dreaded–homeschooling school year has begun. In the three weeks since we’ve begun I have successfully (and by successfully, I mean: it has met my potentially unrealistic, high standards) completed about two days of school.

They were the first two days. Continue reading “In A Perfect World”

Burdened Beyond Belief

If ever there was a passage in Scripture that has described a season in my life so perfectly, it is…

For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.  But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.  He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us.  On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again.  2 Corinthians 1:8-10

The deepest of waters, that’s where I am swimming, or rather drowning. These waters are engulfing and suffocating. As Paul writes, “[I am] despaired of life itself,” I too feel there is no hope of rescue.  I cry out to God honestly and ungratefully, “Why have you thrown me into the deepest of waters?”

I have taken some extended vacations in the terribly dreadful island known as Depression.  I have run away from my Father, looking for a replacement. I have resided for many months in some pretty ugly, self-absorbing Resorts.  But this season does not compare.

I cannot figure out which is harder: losing my dad or muddling through raising three closely-aged boys, one of whom has a Sensory Processing Disorder (causing numerous out-of-control meltdowns each day, among other things), which I have yet to fully understand, let alone to figure out a way to help him. I have concluded neither my grief nor motherhood is easier, but together they are all-consuming.  They call me to the bottom of the ocean, beckoning me to give up and stop fighting, to drown in the deep waters.

I cannot rely on myself. Though I stubbornly try so hard, I just cannot do it.  I lack the wisdom, the strength, the grace. And on top of that, my dad was ripped away from me.  (Yes, that is how I feel some days.) I am weak and selfish. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I have nothing left to give.

“Awesome!” God rejoices. Continue reading “Burdened Beyond Belief”