What Is Most Important?

I am a Christian, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a member of my church and of the body of Christ.

Each of these roles comes with specific duties, expectations, responsibilities. Each varying slightly or hugely from the other.

As a wife, I have certain responsibilities: the upkeep of the house; respecting, encouraging and supporting my husband; submitting to his authority; praying faithfully for him. As a mom, I–with my husband–am responsible to teach everything to my children; to use every opportunity to share the Gospel; to let them see who Jesus is through me (yikes!); to encourage and love them as Christ loves me; to pray for them. As a member of the body of Christ, I am to serve obediently and willingly in whatever way God calls me. As a friend, sister and daughter, I am to uplift and encourage them; to be a godly influence; to pray for them. As a Christian, I am to stand apart from the world; to be a light in the darkness; to proclaim the Gospel to the world; to pray for our Nation and its leaders. As an individual: my health, my walk with God, my wants and needs, my talents, my time, my social contacts, my monies, they all must align with the Word of God.

My list is limited, as I did not list everything, and yours may look very different than mine, but you see how overwhelming it can be. We feel so much pressure to not fail in a specific area, or in many.

So what is most important? Continue reading “What Is Most Important?”

Looking Past The Election

Many are pleased with Trump as our future president. Others are dissatisfied and some are even angry (as demonstrated by the riots and social media outbursts).

I am not writing this to place guilt or shame on whether you voted for or against him.  But he has been elected and that means we have to move on. I urge you to look beyond it.  Look beyond our next president. Let’s glance past this mark in history and consider our future, our eternity.

Because our eternity is of the utmost importance. Continue reading “Looking Past The Election”

In A Perfect World

The highly anticipated–and, if I’m honest, somewhat dreaded–homeschooling school year has begun. In the three weeks since we’ve begun I have successfully (and by successfully, I mean: it has met my potentially unrealistic, high standards) completed about two days of school.

They were the first two days. Continue reading “In A Perfect World”

Burdened Beyond Belief

If ever there was a passage in Scripture that has described a season in my life so perfectly, it is…

For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.  But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.  He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us.  On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again.  2 Corinthians 1:8-10

The deepest of waters, that’s where I am swimming, or rather drowning. These waters are engulfing and suffocating. As Paul writes, “[I am] despaired of life itself,” I too feel there is no hope of rescue.  I cry out to God honestly and ungratefully, “Why have you thrown me into the deepest of waters?”

I have taken some extended vacations in the terribly dreadful island known as Depression.  I have run away from my Father, looking for a replacement. I have resided for many months in some pretty ugly, self-absorbing Resorts.  But this season does not compare.

I cannot figure out which is harder: losing my dad or muddling through raising three closely-aged boys, one of whom has a Sensory Processing Disorder (causing numerous out-of-control meltdowns each day, among other things), which I have yet to fully understand, let alone to figure out a way to help him. I have concluded neither my grief nor motherhood is easier, but together they are all-consuming.  They call me to the bottom of the ocean, beckoning me to give up and stop fighting, to drown in the deep waters.

I cannot rely on myself. Though I stubbornly try so hard, I just cannot do it.  I lack the wisdom, the strength, the grace. And on top of that, my dad was ripped away from me.  (Yes, that is how I feel some days.) I am weak and selfish. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I have nothing left to give.

“Awesome!” God rejoices. Continue reading “Burdened Beyond Belief”

The Crashing Waves

 

“My storms were reeling me for a minute.  As crazy as it felt and as out of control as it felt, all my feelings kept slamming into something solid in me that wouldn’t move.  And that’s my roots and my faith and what I knew.”

“And there’s a time when fear has to face the God you know.”

“There’s a difference between what you feel and Who you know.  In those moments I had to really pull away from what I was feeling and remember Who I knew.”

The above are quotes from Mark Hall, the lead singer of Casting Crowns, during an interview with Wally on WAY-FM. He was speaking on his recent diagnosis of kidney cancer.

As I listened to this interview an image came to my mind. Continue reading “The Crashing Waves”

The most transparent I can be

I write this with a heavy heart. I am stripping down all the walls I so carefully built up around me. The ones that make it seem as if I have the right perspective. The walls that seem so neatly and humbly built. This is the most transparent I can be – that I have ever been. This is extremely hard to write. I am greatly troubled by this struggle! My struggle is one simple word, yet tremendously destructive, called pride. Right now, the sermon series at our church is on the seven deadly sins, pride being the first. I was not made aware of my pride because of the series. But, it called out my name. It stepped on my toes. It’s brought me here, to this point, to write this blog – to face the truth of my struggle. To share it, not boastfully, but that another may be able to relate and be encouraged by it. Besides, there is freedom in admitting the truth. There is a vulnerability in being so open, as if searing into the deepness and secret of the heart, yet it can bring healing and accountability too.

My youngest son, just eight months old, is facing physical challenges. There is something abnormal about his movements. Because there is something amiss, I worry about his future. I worry about what he could encounter as he develops into adulthood. Could this be a developmental hiccup? Absolutely – it’s possible! Could this be the beginning of a life-long challenging road? Yes. I want to be very clear: It is not my desire or joy to see my son face potential life-long challenges and trials! So, the following has nothing to do with that. Continue reading “The most transparent I can be”