The Perfect Gift

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I cannot wait to give our boys their presents on Christmas morning! To see the huge smiles on their faces as they rip open the paper and get a first peek. As parents, it gives us great pleasure to bless our children with gifts. The love and joy we experience as humans is pretty grand, but imagine how our Heavenly Father must feel to bless us with good gifts from above? The unexplainable delight as He showers us with His blessings.

Have you ever given a gift only to see the person look unaffected upon receiving it? Has someone ever told you they didn’t like your gift? How hurtful and disappointing. Maybe their gift was an afterthought, quickly found on the shelf as you exited a store, or perhaps you thought it was the perfect gift – carefully wrapped with appreciation and tied with a bow of love.

As much as we’d like to brag about our ability to give perfect gifts, there is none like the one God gave. His was the Perfect Gift. It was the greatest ever given. His might not be the latest iPhone or a smart TV. It’s not a sleek Ferrari or a mansion on a hilltop. It’s not even our deepest desire. Continue reading “The Perfect Gift” →

Here’s a Glimpse…

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My original answer was “No way!”—but he really wanted to go along.

Our church family was Christmas caroling around a few of the neighboring houses and then meeting again for some cookies and hot chocolate. My son did okay while caroling. He wandered a little and pushed his brother a few times. He liked to ring the doorbells, but soon began pushing the buttons before the rest of us were up the sidewalk. One house, I had to run after him because he continued walking up the sidewalk of a house we were going to skip. All in all, he did okay for a kid who isn’t typical.

But then it was time to eat cookies – aka little blobs of sugar.

As soon as the sugar hit the blood stream, it was as if someone flipped a switch on my son. Even I was surprised. He quickly ascended the hyper-coaster and it was going to get ugly. Continue reading “Here’s a Glimpse…” →

The Lonely Journey: What I Want You To Know

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We all walk lonely journeys. Each is unique. But one thing they all have in common: they can build walls that separate us from others. They can complicate family units. And they can even destroy marriages if not careful.

Somehow it seems harder when the journey involves your child. They unintentionally isolate. They can break friendships and rob us of meaningful time with others.

Some have very specific opinions about what they see in your child. Others have no clue and form their own conclusions about the situation. Some disagree with the way you’re handling it. Some are simply uninformed. Some may want to help but aren’t sure how or even what to say.

Please, don’t walk away from those who are hurting in their lonely journey. It’s hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, but try to understand. Research their struggle if you can; ask them questions; be a support and encouragement. Don’t just turn away from them. You might be the only one who hasn’t.

I wasn’t sure how much to share in this blog. How much exposure is helpful? Is it fair to my son? But, if it makes a difference or helps another to understand or be understood, then—to me—it’s worth the sacrifice.

“He came out screaming and hasn’t stopped; it’s just changed.” This is what I told a doctor this week about my son.

Continue reading “The Lonely Journey: What I Want You To Know” →

God’s Not Dead

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A typical day in my house could certainly be described as challenging, but this week was incredibly rough. Seriously, someone must have snuck my boys crazy pills! Even their mealtimes included chucking food and shoving macaroni noodles up their nose. And snorting, because noodles can certainly be confused with teeny-tiny snorkels in each nostril!

Early this week, I had a doctor’s appointment. Because of the extra rough week, I was never so excited for an appointment. But instead of hearing what I expected, it bore concerns. It’s easy to allow humanness to cloud a perspective. It’s easy to jump into the future, with fear and apprehension, focusing on my past losses, and allow my future to grow grim.

To add to my burden, we are experiencing new financial pressures. And grief, once again, has placed its sorrowful cherry on the top of my gloomy little dessert. Continue reading “God’s Not Dead” →

Fly, Little Bird

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Nearly every day my son shares with me things from school which burdens a mother’s heart. The other day I was incredibly distraught over a specific incident, so wishing my dad was here. He would be the one I talked to about this. He had been there before – having raised five children, three of whom were boys – and I know would have given godly advice.

But he’s not here anymore. The overwhelming sadness escaped and rolled down my face.

I longed for the fatherly advice. Should I ask my oldest brother who is an experienced father of three boys? Should I ask my brother-in-law who also has three older boys? Continue reading “Fly, Little Bird” →

Letting Go

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Letting go of the life we always wanted. Letting go of the people we love. Letting go of expectations or desires. It’s one of the hardest things to go through.

My first child is going to kindergarten today.

This struggle is different than others. It’s not caused by anxiety of the unknown – as many struggles are, but rather the heartbreak of losing my child little-by-little. A part of my heart will be walking around at school.

Continue reading “Letting Go” →

This Thing Called Life

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I have been trying so hard to understand this thing called Life, but my focus should be on the One who created life. After all, how can I expect peace and joy (oh, how I long for peace and joy!) and spiritual growth without seeking Him first?

For so long I’ve been completely unsure what to think or what to do, mainly for myself and my son. My husband and I struggled (still do!) to handle our out-of-control son. This has been from the time he was a toddler. To us (and others I’m sure), it looks simply like disobedience. Years of this! I avoided (still do!) going places because I wasn’t sure how reactive he’d be and I wasn’t sure how to handle it if he was. Often, we would leave a place as soon as we arrived because I was either already in tears or nearly there. But as the years unfolded and new struggles immerged – ones apart from merely behavior, I began to realize there was way more to it. (Also, he has been receiving therapy for a speech delay for over two years.) When I reflected back, I realized he always struggled, even from the day he was born. Recently, I began to suspect ADHD and a few weeks ago he was finally diagnosed.

Meanwhile, I struggled with intense emotions. For years, really. I equated it to my back-to-back pregnancies (three boys in three years). The anger, the constant Continue reading “This Thing Called Life” →