Marriage is not for wimps unless of course you have no intention of staying committed. If you go into a marriage thinking you’ll duck out if the going gets tough, then marriage is a piece of cake.
Let’s admit the statistics aren’t good. No surprise though. It goes with the Continue reading “A Tribute to my Husband”
Very few have trouble naming things they are thankful for. We quickly hear, my family, my friends, a home, a job… But who are they thanking? Do they even know? Maybe. Maybe not.
Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! Psalm 118:1
As believers, we are called to be thankful in everything. This does not mean we simply list all the things we couldn’t be without, but instead giving God the glory for the countless things He’s given to us; and giving God the glory amidst the trials and struggles.
Perhaps you’re thinking, Continue reading “Why Be Thankful?”
Many of us live behind a closed door. Either we don’t want to implicate ourselves with struggle or we have received rejection from an unwilling recipient, so we keep our door tightly closed. We come and go ever so quickly and silently through our closed door, hoping no one caught a glimpse of anything inside, knowing we’d be ruined if our neatly tucked baggage should be exposed. And hoping in desperation for nothing to fall out. If it’s implication we’re concerned about we carefully structure our lives around our prideful lack of transparency and perfect persona, ensuring that outwardly we’re doing everything right and godly. We carry on with life with fake smiles and brave faces, yet inside we’re in a weeping, burdened train wreck. Our fakeness fools most. Continue reading “The Door That Swings”
I always find it fascinating when I ask my boys what they want to be when they grow up.
“I want to be Flash when I get bigger,” my youngest says confidently.
“An engineer,” my oldest says. He’s been holding tight to this dream for two years already.
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.
I think of desires, dreams and goals. It could be as big as dreams or maybe it’s smaller in scale. Man plans his actions and choices. Every second of every day man is given choices and opportunities. He is faced with an open road so to speak. He can choose to hit the snooze or not. To eat breakfast or not. To have a donut or eggs. To open God’s Word or not. But God sovereignly directs his feet so that everything works together for good according to His purpose and for His glory.
A toddler sees a cookie crumb under the table. Continue reading “My Way; His Steps”
I wrote the blog, When Plans Change, a few days ago. (You can read it here.) I wrote about sitting on the plateau of the track feeling the bump of change since hearing about the news of the closing of the company, from whom my autistic son receives services, on Monday. For days I wondered when the train would bolt down the track.
Well, yesterday it happened. Continue reading “Flying Down the Track”
For years I have fought hard for my son. I have fought through the obstacles others created and the obstacles of the system itself. I fought to get help for him. And finally, after years of discouragement, exhaustion and seemingly unanswered prayers, God led us to where we are now. We have a TSS (Therapeutic Staff Support) who helps my son at school and helps our family in our home or while we’re out in the community. We’re in a really good place. We are starting to see progress. I thank God every day. I feel HOPE, which was something I struggled to see for more than five years.
But just this week we found out that the services my son receives will be ending in August, at the latest. The agency that provides his services is closing. Talk about devastating! Employees are losing their jobs. Families are losing their support. Kiddos are losing precious time as they struggle through this scary, confusing world and wait out the transitions to new services (which likely has a 6-month to year-long waiting list). Continue reading “When Plans Change”
My mind is on heaven these days. Of what it must be like to be with the One who has created and orchestrated all things, who sent His Son to die and rise again so that we may live on in His very presence. To the beauty my loved ones are beholding. To be spared of the effects of sin—to only see pureness and goodness. To not feel pain or worries, sorrow or hardship. To only know full joy and peace. It makes me yearn so intensely for heaven.
After three years, it becomes easier to block out the tragic memory of death. But in the last few weeks, as the anniversary approached, I felt myself go into guarded-mode. Just not sure if I wanted to allow myself to relive. Many times, I’ve stepped inside the door, started to tiptoe to his bedside, only to once again, slam the book on the memory. Nope. Too afraid to feel the hurt. But today my mind waits at the door, my eyes peek into the heart-wrenching memory of three years ago and I walk in. Continue reading “Three Years”
We finally received the diagnosis from CADD (Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities) for my son. I wasn’t surprised. In my heart I already knew they would confirm the Autism. His first Autism diagnosis came from a generalized psychiatrist, but it was now confirmed by several specialists who’ve seen my son over the span of a few months.
It felt more real now. Amidst the array of emotions, I felt validated. Immediately I sat down in front of my laptop and allowed my heart to spill across the screen. Words just poured out of me. Immediately, I felt a blog forming in my head. Continue reading “Autism 101”
I wrote the original poem (found here) shortly after my dad’s death in 2016. This morning I rewrote it:
“He’s in a better place,” you hear them say.
Even though it’s true, the pain doesn’t quite go away.
A daddy is the first man a girl sees–
The first man she wants to please.
She wants to ride on his back–
to give her the strength she may lack.
She wants to hold his hand
Because no other will compare in the land. Continue reading “His Life Meant More (rewritten)”
God has a purpose far greater than my scribbling simple words onto a piece of paper. There is a purpose behind my original songs.
As the minutes of yesterday morning ticked by, the emotions escalated. Tick. Tock. Each moment of the morning fed the volcano until finally an eruption of bad choices and frustration burst forth, spewing impatience and raised voices throughout the house. Amidst the battle, I felt my internal temperature gauge cresting into the red zone. I began to sing His Grace (a song I wrote) aloud but my frustration level was too high. And my son was rejecting it more than normal. I was disappointed. I thought this was the song that provided the comfort I needed when I was dealing with my son’s struggles. (I write about the song here.) Continue reading “Behind My Originals”
Foose Bits 